Everything Changes

I wrote this next little blurb last summer, and tucked it away unfinished. As I read over it, I realized that the lessons I’ve been learning are even more pertinent today. So here it is:

25 years ago, I stood at an altar and was asked to make a promise of commitment to the person next to me.  To stick with him for richer or poorer, better or worse….forever. It was only then, in that very moment that it dawned on me….I had NO IDEA what the next 50-75 years would hold.  Not a clue. So much can happen in a lifetime that is not in your control, that you cannot plan for. And for a moment, it freaked me out. How could I make a promise without all the facts?  

Then I took a deep breath, and looked at him, and realized--I may not know what the future holds. All I know to be true is that I can show up in love and trust, and do my best to muddle through and to trust that he will do the same.  That we would learn together--and that life was going to be a truly great adventure. Adventures come with skinned knees, sunburns, broken bones and hearts. Wrong turns, lost maps, blood, sweat and tears. And the sunrises are breath-taking.  And the hugs are so, so nourishing.  

  While I was in the shower this morning, I contemplated that everything truly does change.  The past 4 years someone I dearly love struggled with OCD and anxiety--and we’ve learned so much through that.  One of the key things that I came to understand about OCD is how desperate we all are as humans for certainty.  OCD is the brain’s way of trying to control and to fix the reality that things really are uncertain. That we really don’t HAVE control.  That there are a hell of a lot of unknowns out there--and deep inside us too.  

The question that leaves us with is, “How do we manage that uncertainty? That deep craving for certainty and control?”

There is no ONE answer to this question. As I wrestle with it still in my own life, and likely you are as well, I can offer the little nuggets that continue to nourish and help me wade through uncertainty and uncertain times.

So, today, perspective.

St. Teresa of Avila said, 

Let nothing upset you.

Let nothing frighten you.

Everything changes.

Only God is changeless.

Patience attains the goal.

Who has God lacks nothing.

God alone fills every need.  

Whether or not GOD is part of your life experience, we can take choose the awareness of her perspective that EVERYTHING CHANGES. In Yoga Philosophy, that is a major point as well. When we recognize that life continues to flow, whether or not we want it to we can begin to step back and observe. We can breathe and watch the change instead of trying desperately to control or hold onto the way things have “always” been.

When we begin to accept that things change, our anxiety can be reduced and we can begin to consider how to ADAPT to the changes. How to swim with the currents instead of drowning while trying to fight them. As you take a pause at home, take a few breaths and notice. Notice your surroundings, your loved ones perhaps. Maybe the birds outside and the flowers springing up. Then consider, what actions can you take right now that will nourish you and your loved ones? What will bring an iota more of peace? What is right in front of you that you can do or experience?

As I read St. Teresa’s maxim, I take a deep breath, I look within and without at the Divine that I swim in, and I know that while everything changes, and there is so much I cannot control or even plan for, I can trust. I can commit myself to love and life, and I can move forward with gratitude and in partnership with Life. 

I would love to hear what perspective shifts you are experiencing. What you are struggling with. Comment or respond and let’s help one another as we face the reality of change and uncertainty together.